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If you were my wife Id drink it. Youll discover the funniest lines ever on friends family love women men fun with great images.
When youre crying nobody notices your tears.
Funny popular sayings phrases. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility. Before marriage a man yearns for the woman he loves.
These two expressions might be the grossest and funniest on this list. They both refer to having a nice friendly conversation. Hey come over sometime and well chew the fat.
Funny quotes on naiveté It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep Donald Trump retweeting a Benito Mussolini quote. Somebody asked me if I knew you. A million memories flashed through my mind but I just smiled and said I used to Funny Quotes and Sayings.
You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers 32. When youre so sarcastic people arent sure whether youre joking or.
Home Funny Quotes Funny Phrases and Slogans That Will Crack You Up Witty one-liners are the best ice breakers and they never seem to fail. All you have to do is choose the correct place to pop them and not end up being inappropriate. If there is one thing that nobody ever needs a reason for it.
104 Funny Short Sayings To Brighten Up Your Day wise funny quotes funny and clever quotes comedy quotes To the people who lose one shoe on the side of the highway. Please tell me what the rest of your life is like. Funny Firsts Succeed 30 Copy quote Consider the postage stamp.
Its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. Underwear is everything because we all know that if we have on the wrong pair of underwear it ruins your day. 85 Inspirational Office Quotes Sayings and Phrases at Work.
Always wear pretty underwear on account of you just never know. Here is a great collection of witty funny sayings that is sure to put a smile on your face. Cast your vote for the best saying and see which phrases other people liked.
Most of the time. When youre crying nobody notices your tears. Most of the time.
When youre worried nobody feels your pain. My silence spoke a thousand words but you never heard them. I really should do something with my life maybe tomorrow.
When the past comes knocking dont answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn hardest thing in the world.
I love my job only when Im on vacation. Famous funny quotes and humorous quotes Life is a waste of time time is a waste of life so get wasted and the time of your life. If you die in an elevator be sure to push the UP button.
Cool Funny Quotes Amusing Sayings and Quotations. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A foot in the door. A friend in need is a friend indeed. A golden key can open any door.
A good man is hard to find. A hard man is good to find. A hiding to nothing - On.
A horse a horse my kingdom for a horse. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Looking for the most funny quotes today.
Youll discover the funniest lines ever on friends family love women men fun with great images. Winston if you were my husband Id put poison in your coffee. If you were my wife Id drink it.
Best Ideas for 2 Word Quotes for Tattoos. A tattoo with quotes are popular around the world. Two words on your body may have their own intriguing story.
Take a moment to read these powerful two-word phrases and express yourself through a tattoo. 50 Funny Quotes And Sayings Short funny Words 1. Everything I like is either expensive illegal or wont text me back 2.